Lessons in home improvement

I have been coveting the Barang Barang Papasan chair for a long time. I first laid eyes on this glorious piece of furniture in Val’s room when I popped by her place for a chat one afternoon. It was wonderful to behold, I could so totally imagine myself lounging in it for hours with a book on my lap whilst nursing a hot piping latte in my own reading sanctuary.


I figured I needed new bookshelves for my ever burgeoning book collection, a new espresso machine so I could get the steamed milk just right with the froth that I love, a new table for which to place the espresso machine, gourmet coffee service and consumables, a new rug so the table wouldn’t scratch the parquet, new curtains to complete the look….and come to think of it, the walls looked like they needed a new lick of paint. And so began a somewhat crazed and unrequited love affair with home improvement in my head.

For the past few months, every time I entered a shopping centre, I’d head straight for the home furnishing section first rather than the ladies fashion section like before. I’d trawl the internet for possible items for furniture that might prove a more attractive AND value buy than the Papasan chair and silently cheered when none compared (to my mind). I desperately wanted to buy it but I need to convince myself the $398 and $57 for delivery was worth it, especially since I have other financial commitments/drains like my car loan, my student loan and my current voracious appetite for travel. I was surfing apartmenttherapy.com (and all the other lovely furniture and lifestyle blog links Cheryl sent me) during my breaks and all weekend. Only my family knows how ridiculously dotty I became about home improvement every weekend.

Thankfully I’ve been so busy with work that I never managed to make it to the Barang Barang store a second time to place my order. Thankfully, the chair is expensive for a piece of rattan furniture and the additional delivery surcharge is awfully pricey…because I started to come down from the crazed home improvement fever and see that:-

1. there are many other alternatives (with varying price tags) to the Papasan chair,
2. that doing a mini-extreme makeover in the room that I intend to set up the reading sanctuary involves so much work (sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, mopping) and physical labour (to rearrange the existing furniture and clear out the things that ought to be tossed); and
3. that a good espresso machine is incredibly expensive!

In fact now that I think about it, I spend so much time at work, I should be doing a makeover of my room in the office instead!

The moral to the story has a little to do with what I regularly handle at work – the illusory simplicity of marriage in real life and the backbreaking amounts of work/sacrifice/heartache it entails (especially when kids come into the picture). Many things in life seem at first blush, more roseate and deceptively manageable than they truly are. Three years ago, I actually came close to thinking I was ready for taking the plunge - the arrogant little shit that I was at the grand age of 23. Ironically, that was also the precipice from which I descended and started to spiral into a manic realisation that I was so unprepared on so many levels, it was way out of the ball park.

Much of the past 3 years has been a roller coaster ride of self-discovery and experimentation (within the teachings of the Church!). Since my wings were given to me, I’ve been able to push the envelope (viz myself) and had so many experiences that I had never in my wildest dreams imagined I would engage in. Deconstruction of the old fool has been a daily occurrence in the walk. The fool of today is so radically different (in a good way I’d like to think) from the fool 3 years ago, I can’t even recognize myself. In fact, I’m still not done clearing the corkscrews, camelbacks and diving loops. The fact that I actually want to go harder and faster says something about the appetite for adrenaline that I never knew I had before. My Spiritual Director has assured me that it’s growth, in a good kinda way.

Going back to my sharing about home improvement, I made the trip to Ikea today and discovered a functional and rather attractive alternative to the Papasan. Meet the Lillberg rocking chair with Ikea’s fabulous Froarp fabrics!



Structurally, it’s not quite as 'alternative' but its covers are terribly pretty. Not quite what I had in mind, but much better value for money ($205) and there’s no need for me to fork out a delivery charge because I can just pop the un-assembled chair into the trunk of my car. Assuming I manage to put the whole chair together myself, I’ll have the bonus of the satisfaction too.

That is not to say that I’ve decided to get the Lillberg rocking chair already. I like it a lot but I am not ready to part with my hard earned cash or give up the search (for the chair that screams foolishness) just yet. There is no real hurry or life and death need to set up the reading sanctuary before this Christmas (even if that would be swell), or next Christmas (even though that would be swell too). In fact, there is no hurry to commit to an overhaul of this room (especially its fixtures) because I may not live in this house more than a few years more.

In the same vein, I’ve discovered many attractive alternatives to what I gave up 3 years ago. They’ve been starkly varied and all terribly attractive in their own right. In fact, they’ve helped me to discover my own womanhood in more ways than one but I’m not ready to throw down my chips just yet. I’d like to see if I can find and conquer my/the 4th dimension first.

the fool for Christ